Love - A Christmas Miracle

Love gives people strength to overcome even that which seems impossible. 

It’s not just people that love gives courage to. It’s animals too. 

I’ve lived in a little road on the outskirts of a pretty Andalucian village for a year and a half. In front of the house I rent, there is a large piece of mountainous wasteland. Every day, since I’ve been here, a little abandoned doggie has punctually appeared from nowhere, sat on the roadside waiting for someone to come along and feed her or a dog or two to play with, and then disappeared again in the evening. 

For a whole year I gave her treats and bits and bobs of food. I tried to get close to her but, despite being grateful for the food, she wouldn’t let me near her. She shied away from me just as much as she shied away from most people who passed her by without giving her a second look. 

Then, just recently, instead of putting her food out on the wasteland, like everyone else, I decided to start putting her food in a little plastic container, going out and sitting with her while she ate. The first few days, she would grab a mouthful and run off to eat it. Then, she’d come back, grab another mouthful and run off with that too. On one or two occasions she grabbed the whole plastic dish and ran off with it. It was simultaneously one of the cutest and funniest things I’d ever watched.  Over the course of the next few days, she started to eat her food from the bowl while I sat next to her. Then, Christmas morning, she came straight up to me, and ignoring the food, she licked my hand and allowed me to pet her.

I felt emotional tears swell in my eyes when this beautiful creature released a little cry as I gave her a soft caress on the cheeks. I found myself saying: “Today’s Christmas. I’m not Santa Claus but I can give you food and a forever home if you’d like one. They’re the only gifts I can offer you. If you want them, all you have to do is come in the house.”

I don’t know if she understood me or not but, I left the front door open all day. After five hours of sitting outside the door, poking her head in, running back out, crying out to me and trying to put one paw in front of the other, she very timidly and fearfully came in. Her belly was almost dragging along the floor as she shook, and panted, uncontrollably with fear; salivating extensively at the mouth. It was the first time, in her life, that she’d ever set paws inside a building where a human lives. It was a true Christmas miracle. The love shown to her gave her enough courage to take a leap of faith. 

I wasn’t sure how she’d react to me closing the door but, I’m happy to say she stayed the night. 

It’s boxing day and today, I let her out in the morning. She ate in her usual spot outside the door with me sat next to her. She then stayed out in the sun all day. She greeted all her regular friends who come by to say hello and check up on her. She played with our friendly neighbours’ dogs. She sat outside the door; making sure it was still open and, this afternoon she came back home. She laid on a blanket I put down on the floor for her and I’m happy to report she’s still there. I’m also very ecstatic to report that she let me pick her up and cuddle her. She even rolled over on to her back so I could stroke her belly. Since that is the most delicate area on an animal’s body, exposing it to someone is a huge sign of trust. 

Who chose who in this love story? I’m not sure, but the bravery and trust shown by this little creature taught me such a big lesson that I too put my big girl bloomers on and faced my “unfounded” fears as I headed on home. 

However, that home isn’t a physical place. It’s a still, and peaceful, Energetic place where everything is so familiar and snug and warm and cosy.  It’s an intense feeling of belonging and being immersed in eternal love. It’s a place where there’s no judgment and no criticism, and it’s a place where there’s always someone, unconditionally, waiting with open arms. It’s a place we may move away from but in the end, we’ll always come back to it. 

If I hadn’t surrendered and let the strength of Love guide me, I would have missed out on the warm embrace that awaited me. 

Conclusion - fear is like poison Ivy. Once it takes root, it grows uncontrollably and takes over the garden. On a rampage, it will destroy everything in its path and suffocate the life out of trees.  Fear is the energy that paralyses someone from following their dreams, listening to their heart and living life to their fullest potential. 

Another message from the Udumbara

Only with Love we create Peace - By the Udumbara in full bloom.

Spritual Teachers

I would like to Honour my Spiritual Teachers Venerable Namgyel and Sri Devamitta Holland with this "reflective" article in appreciation of everything they do for Humanity and for me personally.

After a spiritual retreat, I become a little withdrawn and go very deep introspectively to search for, and process, all the possible things I’ve learned that can help me to become a better human being.
The end of this retreat has been no different and one of the many focal points of my learning has been to come to a deep appreciation for my spiritual teachers who have guided me along my journey’s path.

The question floating around in my mind, over the last day or so, has been: “Do we really, and truly, appreciate our spiritual teachers and everything they have been through in order to be in the position they are in to teach us?”

We are all teachers to one another and, every day, we are in this perpetual cycle of learning and teaching - but are we fully aware of it? Or does each lesson pass us by without us giving it the appropriate amount of attention?

Everything we say and do is the product of a lesson we have learned from someone at some particular moment in time - and, although we may not realise it, at the time, everything we say and do also serves as a lesson for someone else.

However, it is my humble opinion that Spiritual Teachers (especially travelling ones) are so very precious, and genuine ones may be a little rarer to find in this day and age when everyone can become a self proclaimed "spiritual guru".

Some Spiritual Teachers travel long distances; enduring the hardships of airports and sleeping in a different bed every week in a different country. And, whoever has travelled a lot knows how difficult airports can be with their policy of being there 2 hours before, the stress of security checks, queues, extortionate prices for food and let’s not mention the need to get up at absurd times of the morning, perhaps with little to no sleep, in order not to miss their flight.

They spend so much of their precious time, and their life, on a plane and suffering chaotic travel conditions for our sake.

I wonder if we fully appreciate how much constant flying, and crossing multiple time zones, in a pressurised cabin, affects the body and, ultimately, health itself.

I, also, wonder if we fully appreciate how tired a teacher must feel when he/she spends his/her day giving so much of himself/herself - sharing precious wisdom, answering all our questions and giving each and every one of us enough attention.

During each retreat/teachings, a teacher may have 30, different, people to respond to. It must be very taxing mentally and physically. That’s not to mention how many emails a teacher has to answer nowadays of other students far far away from the retreat in course.

I think we, sometimes, fail to remember that a Spiritual teacher is still a human being, like us - made of flesh and blood. The only difference between us is that they have optimised their full spiritual potential whereas we haven’t even started to scratch the surface. 



We take so much from them, and, perhaps a little selfishly, expect them to just keep giving and giving and giving but I ask myself how much we, actually, give them back and when I say give back, I mean by looking after them, and their well-being, so that they may always have their batteries fully charged, be in good health, and be able to benefit even more people on their journey’s path that takes them around the world. 



As a event organiser, and a devoted student, I reach out to all retreat organisers around the world to truly value the precious teacher you are hosting. It’s imperative to let our teachers rest appropriately. We all benefit from a refreshed mind in a relaxed body.

It costs nothing to let our teacher rest a day, before any retreat, after a long trip, and it costs nothing to let them rest a day or two after the teachings so they may fully recover.



My wish is that, as retreat organisers, we may show the same compassion, love, patience and kindness to our Spiritual Teachers as they show us. After all, are love, patience, kindness and compassion not the very things our Teachers are trying to teach us?

What use is learning if we can’t put what we learn into practice with the very people that show us the way?

Wherever you are, whoever you are, as a fellow student, I ask you ... please ... love, take care of, and appreciate all teachers in this world because, if they are no longer able to teach, through ill health, who will we all turn to?

All of our "Life" Teachers give us wings (some more than others and some literally) and they also give us the ability to consistently transform/improve ourselves. It's up to us to choose whether to fly or not and what greater Honour is there, for our Teacher, than to see us fly the way they taught us to!
Have a beautiful day one and all.

A simple act of kindness

Dear New World citizens,

Yesterday I spoke about how a simple smile can change the world, can you imagine what a random act of kindness could do?

You may not believe it but a simple act of kindness can travel across the world and last for decades and decades. It is something that, to you, could mean very little but, to someone else, mean the world. Perhaps the person in front of you has never received an act of kindness from anyone. How sad is that?

If you have ever been on the receiving end of kindness, you know how nice it feels. You know how special it is to have been the centre of someone’s attention; albeit for just a few moments. The simple fact that someone shifted their focus from their own world to direct their attention to you and give you their time is an act that should be honoured and treasured.

Before the days of commerce and having to pay for things, we all gave each other our time. We hunted together in community spirit, we shared our food, we protected each other and knew the name of everyone in our village. We had no money. So, all we had to give was our time. Our time spent together is what made our bonds grow stronger and kept us together.

Nowadays, in a society where we cannot, conventionally, survive without money, the last thing we have for each other is time. It is this lack of time that keeps us separate. 



We have children but we don’t really watch them grow up because we are too busy providing for them. 

We mortgage ourselves to the hilts for a house that we end up spending no more than 10 hours a day in - and for 8 of those we are, most likely, sleeping. We get so stressed, with our jobs, that we end up leading unhappy & unfulfilling lives. This leads to frustration that, then, might get vented during the first opportunity you have to spend with your family.


We all only have a certain amount of time on this planet and most of it is consumed with surviving. So, giving someone your time, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant you think it is, is, in fact, the MOST PRECIOUS gift you can give anyone.

A simple act of kindness is giving someone your time and, within that time, taking the opportunity to make someone’s life a little easier, a little less stressful, a little lighter and definitely a little happier.

The beauty of kindness is that it is infectious. It’s like a virus. Once it’s been carried out, it will carry on producing good energy for days, weeks, months and, in some cases, for decades and decades to come. Maybe for a few people, your one simple act of kindness will be remembered with affection and create warmth for the rest of their lives.

Just think - How amazingly beautiful is it that You were able to give that gift to someone. If you are on the receiving end of someone’s effort to be kind to you then think about what a beautiful gift it is for you too and be grateful. 



Our Universal consciousness loves gratitude. When we’re grateful, we attract more of what we’re grateful for.

Teach children to remain innocent

Yesterday, I said that you could help the planet by planting a tree. Well, today I'm going to show you another way you can help.

You can teach your children to keep their innocence instead of showing them how to lose it.

Yes, we, as adults, are responsible for the loss of innocence in our children. We don't do it intentionally. We probably don't even realise that we're doing it. We think we are giving them life skills but, in reality, we are teaching them to judge and be discriminating.

By teaching children what is right and wrong, we are giving them our opinion based on the opinion of the majority that we've accepted as resonating with us as our truth. But, It might not be based on fact nor be an absolute reality. By introducing them to the concepts of happy/sad, good/bad, hot/cold, we are teaching them to judge so that they may avoid unduly suffering. Our intentions are good. We want to protect them from the pain we've been through in our lives.

Yet suffering serves a purpose, too, and it teaches us invaluable lessons; lessons that perhaps we cannot learn any other way than facing our pain head on, learning from it and releasing it.

All of us lose our innocence when we start to discriminate. If we are to live on this planet, as the one Human Race that we are, we MUST teach our children to NOT discriminate. I understand that, with all the tragic fighting and wars, death and devastation, it's very hard to teach our children not to judge BUT ... the majority of you, reading this, probably have the privilege to live in a war free zone. So, you can teach your children to show love, kindness and compassion.

Do we all not search for love our entire lives? Is the hope, then, that love will, eventually, heal everything - even the deepest wounds? Well, what if love is never lost? It is inside us the whole time but we never see it until, one day, someone comes along who reflects it right back at us.

When we teach our children how to discriminate, we are effectively teaching them how to judge and while we're distracted, by judging each other in the physical plane, we miss the beautiful qualities that truly make up who we are, and who we are is one and the same. There is no difference between you and I. When we realise there is no difference, we can no longer live in separation and that is when we become one - The One Human race we have always been.

The Ego and Love

Love is like the sea ...

All of us feel and talk about love in different ways - possibly because there are many types of love and interpretations of love in the world. No doubt that, even though we may share common views, love will have as many meanings as there are people in the world because everyone experiences it differently. Yet ... Many may agree that we only realise the depth of love when we get lost in its sea-like expansiveness, and therein, find that love is, in fact, like water. It has no beginning and no end. It is just one continuous movement towards the shore. It's like a dance ... the dance of Neroids

https://flic.kr/s/aHskuUemfQ

Trust in Love ...

No matter how far we travel in life; spiritually, physically or emotionally - eventually, everything comes full circle and we find ourselves right back where we started - albeit a little older and wiser (one hopes.) In our quest for growth (as individuals and as communities), we need to let cycles come to their natural end and allow new ones to freely begin.

When everything, finally, makes perfect sense we no longer feel sorrow, nor anger nor regret. We leave behind fears, doubts and insecurities. Like a snake, we shed our old skin so a new one can take its place. We drop the masks that have served to protect us and we surrender the need to be, constantly, defensive. When we do that, we have no reason to fight each other for anything because when all negative energies are cleared, all that remains is pure, unconditional, love and kindness, gratitude and compassion ...

We realise that everything we have been through and everyone we have ever encountered brought us to where we are now ... and where we are now is exactly where we're meant to be.

From here, with no more mental, emotional or spiritual chains to bind us, we can only move forward.

Where this new cycle will take us - nobody knows - but with such an unconditional trust in love, anywhere will be just perfect because it is meant to be

Happy New year 2018

 Dear readers and beautiful people around the globe,

31st December ... This is it ... The end of another year. I hope that each and every one of you creates the life you really want in 2018 and that synchronicity and luck are on your side.

It's very easy to get caught up in life and the necessities of life, so I hope that in 2018 you have your priorities straight and that you share love, and more time, with those who deserve it ... I hope that your every act of kindness is returned to you tenfold. I hope that every seed you plant, grows into a magnificent tree that will carry on giving for a hundred (or more) years. I hope that everything you choose to do brings you, and others, happiness. I hope you never have to speak harsh words and if you do, may they heal quickly.

May you all be healthy, happy, in love, safe and warm, and always have food on your table ... Happy New Year!!! ... and here's to catching up with many of you next year (somewhere around the world)
As for me ... I end the year with a final creation ... and thank the Universe for all the amazing gifts I've received of late that have re-awakened my soul. It's amazing how one ray of sunshine can melt away years of ice. <3 span=""> <3 span="">
I would like to add a very special "Thank you" with Universal Love to all you light-workers out there, all you energy healers, Reiki practiotioners, massage therapists, holistic healers and everyone else who shares healing and light in this world. YOU are the ones who truly make a difference in the life of others. On behalf of humanity I appreciate and value you. May your work continue unhindered in 2018 and may you always have the health to continue spreading your good work. <3 br=""> 
Before I go ...

Remember that Ghandi said: "Be the change you wish to see in the world"

I have been absent for a long time. My feelings of helplessness got the better of me and I retired out of the spotlight into the shadows ... but ... In the new awakening I find myself in ... I realise that we CAN make a change in the world. We are all interconnected and we all need each other for our very survival as one human race on a planet that is every bit as alive as we are. 

Every word we speak, every action we carry out in the world has an impact on someone, somewhere. We can make the world a better place by choosing carefully how we interact with others and the environment around us.

We can bring down the big corps and stop world monopoly (and the elite 1%) by choosing to support local farmers, small cottage industries, by growing our own crops ... by not conforming to the norm ... by standing up and speaking out for what is right and just.

The stronger ones among us have a duty to protect, serve and help to strengthen the weaker ones among us. We have an obligation to use our voice for those who can't - Not with arrogance, not with superiority but in humility and gentleness.

I allowed people's opinions to scare me off and make me hide away in a cocoon. It's taken years for me to find my way out ... don't make the same mistake I did ... Be brave and ignore other people's opinions. As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else ... stand up and be counted. You can make any change you wish to see.

Don't be afraid to love and show that love. Be kind, be compassionate and create a better world by starting with your world.

Spread joy not hatred ... speak kindly, not harshly ... but, above all, remember that you are NOT alone in this world.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone ... While most of the world is celebrating, I would like to take a moment to send a virtual hug to everyone but especially to those for whom today is a day filled with bitter-sweet nostalgia and mixed feelings of happiness and sadness.

Today, of all days, I send my compassion and loving sympathy to those remembering dear, departed, loved ones - because I understand that this time of the year is the hardest. I understand how all the beautiful memories both comfort and upset at the same time. 

My heart goes out to all of you who wish you could be closer to someone who is at a distance ... whether that distance be emotional, mental or physical ... but ... distance is only the time it takes to pick up the phone, send a message or write.

... and, finally, I especially send love to all of those who have nowhere to celebrate, nothing to eat, no family and no roof over their heads ... Much love to everyone ...

To all those celebrating something ... I wish you a beautiful holiday season ... to those not celebrating anything ... there is always something to celebrate ... so, celebrate life!!!

Life is such a precious and, yet, volatile gift to have. None of us know how long it will last and that's why we should make every moment count ... and remember, the biggest gift you can give anyone is your love and your time. Neither cost anything but can mean so much to someone else.
Time, by its very nature, is so fleeting and precious, we should choose wisely who to spend it with, because it's the one thing we can never get back.

I wish you all Love ❤, happiness ❤, peace ❤, health, ❤ prosperity ❤ and everything you wish for yourselves and more. ❤ May this be the end of all our karmic cycles and the beginning of new ones! One global love <3 span="">

Beauty

When I've made a bride up and seen their eyes swell with the beauty they see in the mirror, I always tell them that it's not the makeup or the hair style that makes them beautiful ... They are already beautiful, I just add a little colour to the, already existing, canvass.

The media would have us believe that beauty depends on how we look, where we live, how we live and how much money we earn ... but that's not beauty ... It's, merely, a false illusion created to keep us in a permanent sense of feeling like something (or a lot) is lacking in our lives. The objective is to make us stay in a system designed to economically enslave us. The weaker and more insecure we feel, the less empowered we are to simply "be" and be happy with what we have, who we are and how we look.

This year, I found it incredibly heart breaking to hear a lovely young bride, in her 30s, say to me that, before me, nobody had ever told her she was beautiful.

For me, beauty comes from all the pain, all the trials and tribulations we've had to overcome in life. Beauty comes from shining a light in the world because you know what it means to suffer and you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. Beauty comes from all the scars, all the healed wounds and all the darkness that, as a person, you have had to face, transform and illuminate with your own light. Every wrinkle is beautiful because it's the road map of your incredible life of learning and every struggle you've overcome. Beauty comes from sharing who you are, with others, in a kind and compassionate way with gentleness and grace.

If I've learned one thing in life ... it's that, the people who have suffered the most are the ones who have tremendous amounts of beauty... and that beauty is so real and so incredible, it's like seeing and knowing an Angel... a protector ... a guardian ... Love yourselves beautiful people. You are lacking nothing and you ... yes you reading this, you can honestly move mountains with your beauty.

Dear Soul Mate ...

If there is someone special in your life, who you'd love to share a multitude of reasons with of why you love them, this is the perfect little gift ...

For men and women alike ... say it with a book ...

Now that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming ... Let your dear heart know how you truly feel!

Dear You ...

Dear You, 

 

I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I know what you’re going through. The pain you’re feeling right now is the same pain I’ve felt. I’ve been where you are and I’ve felt the deepest sorrow a human being can feel. The only thing worse than losing a loved one is losing a loved one to cancer at a very tender age. 

 

I know how empty you feel right now and how the world makes no sense any more. I know that feeling of being dead inside as if someone ripped your heart out and left you numb. I know how it feels to be plodding along aimlessly through life without really being present. 

 

I lost a lifelong friend to cancer before she made it to the age of 34. She struggled for two long, hard, years with cancer before her frail body gave up the fight. I watched her decline from the vibrant human being she was to a bed ridden shell of her former self. 

 

All I could do was standby and watch as the disease slowly took all the life out of her. I felt helpless. I didn’t want to lose her but I didn’t know how to save her and after she departed this world to start the next phase of her journey, I felt guilt. I felt like I should have done more for her. I kept questioning whether I did everything I could have possibly done and I beat myself up over it every day for three years following her passing. 

 

I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept the inevitable of her condition and hindsight is a wonderful thing. There was nothing I could do for her except be there for her and love her the way I always had. I know now that I couldn’t have saved her. Unfortunately, I don’t get to decide who lives and who dies.

I know, that like me, you’re going through the mourning process and it will take time to heal. You should take all the time you need. Everyone mourns in their own way and for as long as they need to but, I want you to remember one thing. Love is all that really matters. 

 

Your loved one, just like mine, wouldn’t want you to suffer the pain you’re feeling. I’m sure they’d want you to live your life and make the most of every precious moment. 

 

It’s taken me a long time to realize that life is about cycles and death doesn’t mean the end. It’s just another cycle and within life itself, from the moment we’re born, every hello must end in goodbye. The only thing that keeps us bound, throughout all cycles, is our love for one another. Every moment we share together and every memory we create is a precious gift to be treasured and looked back upon with the same love and happiness we felt at the time of creation. 

 

With every encounter, our lives are enriched. We all touch each other in some way and we learn from one another. Instead of mourning our loss, we should celebrate what we have gained. We are all very fortunate to share our lives with one another in whatever capacity and we are all blessed to know love and share it with others. 

 

I know that, right now, this letter is probably of no real consolation to you but one day you will see the world, once again, as a beautiful place. One day, you’ll feel your loved one, once again, smiling at you from wherever they are and, once again, you’ll start living in the knowledge that only love matters.

Breakups?

Another question is ... two people want to mutually end a relationship but one person ends it before the other; causing immense pain and heartbreak ... how do you deal with it and what advice can you give in 10 stages? ... wow ... putting me through my paces today ... I'm no relationship expert but ...here's my reply:

If both parties wanted to mutually end the relationship that tells us something has been wrong for quite some time. Under normal circumstances (whatever they may be) if the people involved are rationally sound, they wouldn’t decide to end a relationship just for the sake of it nor out of the blue nor on a whim.

The fact that they both wanted to end the relationship also tells us that both parties felt incompatible with each other for whatever reasons. They shared a common feeling that things weren’t working between them and that neither party was happy. In that knowledge, one would assume that their rational mind knows the best thing for them to do is separate.

So, although I appreciate the fact that every break up has its consequences, if a person, who wants to break up from their partner, feels distressed and heartbroken over “being dumped first” rather than being the one “doing the dumping” it’s not a mourning for the relationship as much as it is a matter of pride and ego being hurt.

So, maybe steps 1, 2 and 3 should be:

1) An analysis the relationship to create a realisation, and eventual awareness/acceptance of what was wrong and why there was a mutual desire to end it.

Awareness, acknowledgement and acceptance are tools for empowerment.

2) Create an understanding that we’re not going to be compatible with all the people we encounter in life. Many people come into our lives for a specific reason at a specific moment in time when we need them or when they need to teach us something. Or, perhaps, they appear when they need us to teach them something. People come and go from our lives, very few stay for a long duration.
Incompatibility doesn’t mean unworthy, unlovable or undesirable. This should be reinforced in the wounded party.

3) Getting the injured party to admit that the breakup is, in fact, mutually beneficial. There is no “dumping” and “being dumped”.Looking at the relationship realistically, if they both wanted to end it but neither one had taken the dreaded initiative to do so, who knows how long the suffering and pretense would have carried on for. They would have ended up making each others‘ lives a misery. So, ending it was a positive thing.

Steps 4 through to 10 should be about:

- Taking time to learn to be with one’s self and love one’s own self. It’s a new chapter in a new phase of life. It can be written any which way even if that means reinventing one’s self. This is a phase for reflection and introspection. Spending quality time with friends and family.

Having a life re-assessment. Creating new happiness within one’s self.After all, we cannot rely on others to create our happiness nor should we enter a relationship with the idea that someone else is going to make us happy. That’s a lot of responsibility to hand over to someone else. When they fail to live up to our expectations, we feel they’ve failed us. We feel let down and hurt and, eventually, we repeat the same mistakes again and again.

If we’re already happy when we meet someone, their presence in our life will be complimentary to it and not a necessity.

Finding new hobbies/interests, join clubs and find passions in life that are both enjoyable and lead to meeting new people.

Eventually finding the positive lessons learned from the broken relationship, forgiving the wrong and letting go.

Travelling, broadening horizons and doing all the things you feel you can’t do when you’re in a relationship.

Meeting someone new and moving on. Everything in life has a certain amount of risk but never taking a risk means never discovering new opportunites and life really is too short to shut all doors.

Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day. Nor would anyone work through these stages in 5 minutes. Everyone progresses at their own pace in life and just as well. It would be boring if we were all the same.

One global love

Loss and Love

It’s coming up to another end of year and, as per every year, albeit this year a little earlier than usual for some unknown reason, I start to evaluate everything that has happened and everything that, potentially, is yet to come - not only with regards to my life but, also, with regards to my life in respect to everything and everyone around me.

This year, more than usual, there seems to have been a lot of loss around me. Or, maybe the older we get, the more natural it becomes for people to start departing this plain. Many people I have had the pleasure of exchanging views with and walking the path with, for a while now, virtually and otherwise, have passed into the realm of peace. Many others, as I type, are going through some kind of suffering; whether it be illness, inability to survive in a world where money has become an essential part of living, natural disasters or heartbreak.
The point is, everyone on this planet suffers with something.

As a lot of you know, even though I accept death as just another step in our evolutionary process, I have been struggling with my own grief for the last 4 years after the death of someone who was like a baby sister, a daughter and a friend. I grasped at every single memory, wept on every occasion and, even, went as radically far as up rooting; leaving a perfectly good life in Madeira to retreat to Spain. Yet, nothing eased the pain except the slow acceptance of the cycle of life and time even when it seems to be at its cruelest.

The truth is, there is no such thing as a cruel life. Life is what we make it and we end up with what we attract. Every thought produces an action. Every action creates a pattern and every pattern draws us to what we want; whether we truly want it or not. What we invest our energy into is what we will ultimately attract. We, basically, get what we focus on. We create every aspect of our lives and we choose who to have in it.

People argue that they don’t attract bad people, or disasters, into their lives, but they do. Whatever you put our into the world, is what you will get back. If you think negative and behave negatively, you will attract negativity and negative people. If you think positively and behave positively, you will attract goodness and everything that is positive for your life.
The best part about all this is that we choose. Nobody chooses for us.

When we close ourselves off in a dark hole, and trust me, I know because I did it for a year while I was still in Madeira and a another year after I came to Spain, everything around us becomes dark. Maybe through the trauma or the great shock we receive, we become blind to everything and everyone around us because it’s almost as if we’re looking at an invisible brick wall that stands between the sorrow we feel and the happiness that awaits us on the other side. The best bit is that a part of us wants to see over the wall and experience that happiness while another part of us wants to continue to wallow in sorrow.  

I hear you ask why we would wish to wallow in our sorrow and pain when it’s so destructive for us. Well, for one, because it’s easier to become the victim in our own self pity than it is to stand strong and be happy.  Two, whilst we are a victim, people show us loving kindness and attention, and three, most people have a complex of some kind and for some absurd reason, they feel unworthy of love and happiness and, thus, feel guilty at feeling joy at such a sad time. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a conscious feeling but, none the less, it’s there. Let’s not forget, as well, that in a kind of sadistic way, our pain becomes our comfort. It becomes a safe place where we can hide and not have to face the world.

As far as loss goes, of anyone or anything, we need to remember that nothing in life is permanent. Everything is subject to change. Chatting about the cruelty of life and people being snatched away from us, I recently said to a friend on Facebook
that nobody is snatched from anybody. It may feel that way but, in truth, we all have a time to come into this world and a time to leave. It’s the Kalachakra of life (according to Buddhism).  We all come here with a purpose and our purposes may be very different to one another. When we have achieved that purpose, we depart. We carry on with our journey; leaving others to carry on with theirs. What we need to accept is that every single hello must end with a goodbye of some kind because everyone has their own journey to travel, and sadly, we must travel it alone.

Of course, along our path, on this beautiful journey of life, we meet many people. Some stay in our lives for long periods of time and some just walk a short distance with us. We will never forget some people and others, we will forget the minute they're gone. We grieve the loss, but what we should do instead is rejoice the time we shared together, good or bad, rejoice for what we learned, rejoice for the strength a situation gave us, rejoice because we changed our way of thinking, we became a little wiser, a little more patient, a little more flexible or even a little more loving and compassionate. Everyone on our path taught us something. When we look back without the emotions attached to a person or a situation, we find that we grew more with what, apparently, seemed bad than with what apparently seemed like roses and poetry. 

We focus too much on the negative. Instead, we should think about the positive. First and foremost, for me it’s an honour and a blessing that someone else would want to share our journey and walk our path with us, whether it’s for a day, a month, a year or a lifetime. Since we all have the free will to choose to do as we please, some more than others of course, I consider it of the highest honour that another human being chooses to be my friend, my lover, my partner and a life long influence, because even long after that person has chosen to leave my life, the influence remains and the lessons learned never leave me. In this time of virtual friendships, it’s even more of an honour that someone you’e never met would want to be there for you and share in your life. 

At some point during everyone’s life, someone has loved them without being retributed, how lucky is that? Usually when it happens we are not mature enough to appreciate it. Just think how lucky it is to love someone who doesn’t love you back. It shows you are capable of loving without receiving; that you can give without expecting anything in return. Of course, we get too involved in the despair of it all, and the selfishness of expecting them to love us right back, to truly understand what a blessing it is. If only we could harness that love, control it and direct it at every human being on this planet and help them, in some way, without expecting anything in return. What a wonderful world we would create. 

Anyone who has ever been shown love or shown love is truly lucky. Some people will live their entire life without knowing what love, kindness and compassion are. Even when someone treats us badly, rips us off or tries to hurt us, we are lucky. Those people are teaching us to be wise and cautious. They help to improve our sense of understanding of this materialistic world we live in, which helps us to navigate our way through all obstacles we encounter. If we could stop for a moment and see those people as our teachers, we could smile at the whole situation instead of causing grievous bodily harm to ourselves with stress, anger and impotence.

As for losing things, well, the trick is to never be attached to something so much that you can’t live without it. Nothing lasts, and as many disasters have proven to us, it only takes a split second for everything to be reclaimed by mother nature. Nothing is truly ours anyway. As I discovered, first hand, when I had my near death experience, we take nothing with us into the next phase of being; literally nothing. 

Owning possessions has become a way for clever corporations to make you a slave for their ever increasing bank account. Things have become a way to keep people distracted, amused and separated. With more, or less, things, we believe in a so called differential social class. We compete with each other for the bigger, the best and the newest. It’s only because we believe in this social class that it exists, because, believe it or not, we are all the same. No amount of possessions and no fictitious social standing is going to protect anyone from disease, illness or death.

Owning as many possessions as possible has been sold, to us, as a reward system for the hard labour we endure in order to buy things. Marketing campaigns are so psychologically clever that we crave things before they come on the market. We queue for hours to buy, buy, buy. We’ve allowed ourselves to become slaves of things to such a point that we’ve put their importance above that of human lives. In fact, we’ve become immune to the loss of life.

We are slaves to TV; mind-washed by fear and always fighting for something or other; whether it be physically (as in war), emotionally (as in spiritual) or mentally (as in intellectually and politically.) 

I think it’s time we all realise just how much impact we have on one another and I think it’s time we make some conscious decisions about whether that impact is positive or not. I influence you, you influence your friend, your friend influences their friend and before you know it the whole world has been touched by one person. Be responsible in your choices, your thoughts and your actions, please, for all our sakes.

One global love

Happy Women's Day to every woman, girl, child and baby around the world.

To all the beautiful ladies around the world,

It's not easy being a woman nowadays. So much pressure is put upon us to be one way or another, to behave one way or another, to look one way or another. We're given false illusions of what beauty truly is. Everywhere we turn, we're led to believe we're not good enough. We're laughed at, ridiculed, bullied and name called when we don't fit the false standard big corporations (making the money) set for us.

Well, ladies of the world ... let me tell you. You don't have to be any one particular way. There is no right or wrong way of looking, behaving or being as long as you are being true to yourself. You don't have to look like some plastic "Hollywood" fabrication to be accepted. You don't have to dress with as little as possible to show who you are. You are neither your looks nor your clothes. These are cleverly designed marketing strategies to make you feel inadequate. The more you buy, the more big commercial companies laugh all the way tot he bank.

These companies would have you believe you're not beautiful just so you would buy their latest makeup or sunglasses to hide your real beauty. They would have you believe you're not thin enough just so you buy into the latest diet fad and line their pockets with your hard earned cash. They would make you believe that you're never going to fall in love unless you comply to rules they have set, for you, according to their own desire for greed and power.

I'm here to tell you that all you need to be beautiful, radiant, full of love and desirable, is to be a woman of substance - A woman of compassion, a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it - A woman who doesn't need to trample all over others to get to where she wants to go. All you need is to have the inner strength to stand up and be who you truly are within you, and trust me, who you truly are within is more beautiful than makeup, clothes and the latest fad diet.

All you need to receive love, kindness and compassion from others is to give that love, kindness and compassion. However, let me tell you that there is no greater love in this world than the love you can give yourself. If you want happiness, learn to be happy and share that happiness with others.  Whatever you put out into this world is what you will get back tenfold.

All you need is to shine bright like the true star you really are and illuminate the way for yourself and others. Be firm if necessary but never lose your tenderness. Be strong but don't forget to be flexible and delicate. Cry if you have to but 9 times out of 10 make sure they're tears of happiness. See beauty everywhere you go and beauty will be seen in you. Learn to forgive and forget and, for sure, others will forgive and forget too. Laugh out loud and others will laugh with you. Be infectious and spread the light you have within.

Above all just be yourself and if "yourself" doesn't fit in with everyone else, be proud that you stand out from the crowd. The world needs people who are different and who break free from the chains that binds society. Don't be afraid to be that difference and make a difference.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, be proud of who you are and what you've become. Honour yourself. Love every curve and every line for only you can know the true extent of this life journey you've been on.  Be proud to be one of life's survivors. Be proud to be a woman.

Most of all ... don't forget to simply "be a woman."

Don't forget one important thing ... Don't let anyone tell you "you can't". You can be whatever you want. You can whatever you set your mind, body and soul to. All you need is the determination to succeed and the courage to see your dreams through. Remember, all dreams are just dreams until you put them into practice. Add the effort on your part and they become reality. Just go for it!

Happy women's day!

Please feel free to share this if you think it contains a message that is relevant for any woman you know.

Photo courtesy of http://www.fantasticprovence.com

Two wrongs don't make a right!

Physically, we’re all built the same way. Physiologically, we all function the same way. We all experience emotions the same way; when we’re happy we smile, when we’re sad we cry. We’re all fighting to survive in this crazy topsy turvy world. 

Some people may possess more physical things than others. Some may be financially better off than others, but at the end of the day a human being is a human being. Nothing else matters, not the colour of one’s skin, not what nationality we are, not what religious doctrine we adhere to, not our beliefs or culture, nor anything else you can think of that makes you “think” we’re different. 

In reality, the only things that make us think we are different to one another are our own construed, and somewhat distorted beliefs and our ignorance. 

Please note that when I use the word ignorance I mean it in the sense of “lack of knowledge and a consequential lack of understanding.” I also refer to ignorance as the lack of interest to discover and enquire. 

When we learn something, we come to know it. When we know it, we can grow to appreciate it. We can come to terms with it. We can investigate it further if we wish. We can create a big enough database of  its characteristics in order to begin to fully understand it. Thus, we can start to make educated formulated opinions about it instead of using third party here-say and guesswork.  

Of course, there is one golden ingredient that’s essential for any type of learning and understanding to take place. We need to have curiosity. Motivated by curiosity, we’re driven by interest in the subject matter. 

As many of you know from your own experiences, if we’re not interested in something we never learn about it. No matter how much information comes at us about it, we simply discard it. We pay no attention to it and dare I say, we even close ourselves off to the notion of it. 

Likewise, if we don’t have a certain flexibility of or within our belief system, we’ll simply reject any new possibilities that arise from any topic relevant information coming at us. Pardon me, but in doing so we cocoon ourselves. We voluntarily become ignorant. But, under the circumstances it’s not because of lack of information. 

When ignorance is due to lack of instruction or knowledge, it’s excusable and even forgivable; to an extent. I say to an extent because, even without instruction, most of us have a conscience. We all have a little inner voice, or an inner sixth sense that guides us through right and wrong. Most of us are also equipped with common sense which, when it’s followed honestly and open heartedly, also guides us in a positive way. 

Quite frankly, I strongly believe that laziness and hatred are the major culprits behind voluntary ignorance. Laziness, because we can’t be bothered to do our own due diligence. Half the time, we expect others to spoon feed us with information; be it right or wrong.

Most of us are so indoctrinated to look up to our elders and respect ruling authorities, that we choose to blindly trust anyone we think has a little more education than us.  Worst of all, we blindly put our lives in the hands of those we think have a more important role in society than we do. Yet, it’s exactly this mentality that’s made us lazy in the first place.  It’s this handing over of responsibility to others, for our welfare, that allows us to continue to be in denial and live blame free. 

If a bomb explodes somewhere, it wasn’t us. It was some militant or military of some government of some country for some reason. Yet, who elected the government who ordered the military to detonate the bomb. Isn’t that the same elected government some militants are fighting against because they see the evil of its members? 

We all have responsibility every single day in every little thing that happens in every single country around the world.

Most of the time, because we only hear bad news coming at us, we switch off and go back into our little blame free world of denial. We might empathise for a short while, but human memory is short-lived. 

I hear people say to me: “Well, what can I do? - I can’t do anything.” There is always something we can do. Half the time, we just can’t be bothered to find out what it is we can do. Doing nothing is worse than doing even something minute.

Hatred is the worst of all evils. One of the most useful things my step-mother ever said to me was: “You should never hate anything or anyone in life. Dislike it, but don’t hate it.” She’s right. Hatred is a very strong emotion. The word alone carries with it very heavy connotations. The sentiments behind it are even stronger. Both the word and the sentiment are charged with so much negative energy. 

Hatred is a destructive emotion. It doesn’t create anything positive. It only creates more of the same. It wedges barriers between people. It destroys mother nature and this very planet we live on and depend on for the sustenance of life. 

Whether we think it or verbalise it, we’re sending out poison into the world by way of our energy. Similarly, any time someone else sends out poison into the world, we’re influenced by it. 

If we were to analyse hatred, I think we’d find that really it’s only motivated and fueled by ego, pride, a sense of superiority, arrogance, stubbornness, un unwillingness to adjust who we are in front of someone else or something else. In fact, many times we knowingly, and sometimes unknowingly, cut off our noses off to spite our face; all in the name of a proud ego.

Just like love, kindness and compassion feed off and spread love, kindness and compassion, so too does hatred, anger and rage feed off and spread hatred, anger and rage.  

You’ve all heard the sayings: Two wrongs don’t make a right and you reap what you sow. It’s true, we generally get back from the world what we put out there. We can’t expect to receive love if we give hatred or indifference. Similarly, nothing will ever change unless we start taking back responsibility for ourselves, our actions, thoughts and beliefs and, of course, the environment around us. 

Don't shout!

Often in life people shout at others for no apparent reason what so ever other than their own insecurities and frustrations. These could be anything from feelings of low self-esteem: “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never make it” and so on; to a lack of a sense of personal and professional achievement and job satisfaction.

It can be particularly frustrating when both our professional and personal life are out of balance or when we feel others collide too much with our world.

I think we all take our frustrations out on someone near and dear to us at some point in life. We basically use someone else as an emotional punching bag. The sad thing is that most of the time, we don’t even know we’re doing it.

It’s only when we’re on the receiving end or when we take a step back and reflect on our behaviour, that we realise how it feels. By then the damage is done though.

Instead of getting to the point where we lash out at an innocent bystander in our life, we should analyse ourselves, what we think our shortcomings are and our behavioral responses.

First of all, we should learn to worry less about what people think about us. We don’t need to validate who we are in comparison to others. Everyone on this planet is an individual human being with a personality and character of their own. It's not always necessary to fit in. After all, if we were all the same there would be no diversity and, quite frankly, I think the world would be a boring place.

There are people in this world who are different, they don’t conform to social norm expectations and I believe they should remain different. Their differences are what separate them from generality and the masses. Also, there is no right or wrong way to be. The point of life is to be happy and that includes being comfortable with all our differences in comparison to others.  

I’m also a great believer that people should worry less about what they call their
shortcomings and what they think they have, or do not have, to offer. As long as someone is alive, they certainly have something to offer. Perhaps, a shift in perspective is needed in order to appreciate one’s own qualities rather than one’s material possessions. This is where self-esteem and self-respect come into play.

Another fundamental issue to remember is that everything happens for a reason. So, whatever is happening in one’s life right now is there for a purpose. We just need to learn to see the purpose. We need to be able to appreciate the learning opportunity every challenge provides us with. We need to learn that lesson as quickly as possible and move on.

Most importantly, we need to learn to let go more. We need to let it all go; all the baggage and resentment from the past serves no purpose in our memories; except occupying good space that could be filled with positive change and an optimistic outlook towards the future. We need to keep moving forward with your eyes a little more open; our minds a little wiser and hearts filled with peace.
Nothing that we consider bad happens for a bad reason, but we need to see the positive side instead of persistently focusing on the negative aspects.

We need to forgive ourselves and others for whatever has gone before, and let go of the past. Built up guilt, anger, resentment and dare I say jealousy are all negative
qualities that hold us back in life. Generally, they spring from things we've done that we're not proud of or that we’re ashamed of. Instead of accepting them as an integrated part of who we are and regarding them as another opportunity to know and love ourselves; flaws included, we turn against ourselves.

We start a cycle of self-loathing and self-depreciation, which in turn, over a long period of time, turns into lack of self-esteem and lack of self-respect. We become our own worst enemy. We no longer have a good relationship with ourselves nor with others. Hence, from there on in, we begin to think that life is taking a downhill slide and that everything is going wrong. It’s not life though. It’s our attitude towards it.

Life and it’s journey are not consistent by nature. They are subject to change and many unstable factors. It may seem that it doesn’t always go the way we want it to, but the one thing we can do, is make it the way we want it to be. It takes determination, a series of choices, motivation, time, effort and the input and interconnection with others and the world around us.

So, before you shout at someone you hold dear. Stop yourself and analyse why you’re doing it. Is it really their fault or are you trying to compensate for something missing within yourself?

May you always have peace and love in your life. God Bless you all.

Venerina

Love ...

Just lately I have read and heard so many negative and positive things about love, it reminded me of an article I wrote many years ago.

In the article, I described love as an abstract concept; something intangible - an emotion or a feeling we experience deep within our inner being. Yet, something we cannot physically touch; an idealistic state we all wish for - someone to love us.

We may experience emotional, chemical, psychological and physical symptoms as a consequence of the feeling of love like a racing heart, sweaty palms, desire, lust, a lack of hunger or sleepless nights. Yet, we cannot see or touch our emotions with our physical senses.

In that article, I said that most people everywhere aspired to it. Men, (and women), killed in its name. I said that we all daydreamed about it at some point; that children give it freely, whilst adults are cautious who they give it to.

I also said that some may delude themselves that they are feeling it or experiencing it, and that sadly some may never experience it at all in their life.

I mentioned that uttering this very simple four letter word “love” has the ability to make one person ecstatically happy, while making another person completely despair.

By saying “I love you” to someone, it’s possible to mend a broken relationship, it’s possible to heal wounds and break barriers between people. Love can also quite simply make right a whole load of wrongs.

In my article though I questioned whether love per se was enough nowadays, or whether our society has become so materialistic that many marriages are based more on interest than love. Or, whether there is so little love in the world, as we grow further and further apart as human beings, that many marry because they don’t want to be alone.

I questioned whether there would be fewer divorces in the world if there were more love.

I asked if the word “love” nowadays has just become a convenience; if the romanticised concept of love has become just another misconstrued reality based on false literary and media reality, or just another expression too quickly and falsely used for gaining physical pleasure with the opposite sex.

Whichever the case, I do not see that as love. It’s the illusion of love.

I’m no expert in love but I do know that unconditional love is when you never walk away; despite the odds. It’s never losing that faith and respect. It’s the strength to walk away from someone when they tell you to leave them alone and get on with their life. It’s knowing you would give your life to save the life of someone you love. It’s knowing you would give up your entire world if you had to. Even though, in love nobody makes demands and nothing is ever asked. Everything is freely given as a gift between people.

It’s knowing that if you ever deliberately harmed another it would hurt you more. It’s getting on a plane and travelling half way around the world just to hold someone or be there for someone just because you know they need you.

I feel there are many ways to love the different people in our lives, our families, our friends, our colleagues, but there is only one kind of love: the unconditional and eternal kind.

There is no I or ego in love. There is only love itself. It is what drives people to help others; showing kindness, love and compassion to perfect strangers.

No one person ever loves the same as another and no one individual ever experiences love the same as another, but sharing love brings people closer together.

Where love begins nobody knows. It’s a question philosophers and romanticists have been debating since the beginning of time. Where it will end nobody knows.

If you believe that death is only the end of the physical, and that love touches the very essence of who we are, then you must believe that love does not die. If we plant the seeds of love well during our life, they will continue to grow fruits until the hereafter and beyond... perhaps that is what makes love eternal.

Sow the Seeds of Love

The world is not for those wise of mind but for those wise of heart.

Although it may appear that the wise of mind rule, it is with the heart that we plant seeds of love and spread kindness to one another.

Seasons come and seasons go and the growth of our seeds may be threatened but if we tender to them well and offer them shelter from harsh conditions, we can protect our crops and eventually harvest the fruits of our labour.

When love truly resides within our soul, there is very little anyone can do to ever destroy it. Sometimes, it may feel like it waivers, like it’s absent for a moment or two but the flame never dies. We find our inner strength when we need it the most, when we trust in ourselves most and when we find that every answer we ever needed is contained within ourselves.

It is in love that we extend our hands to one another as brothers and sisters sharing one world where we all reside; breathing the same air, sharing the same oceans, admiring the same beauty of magnificent flora and fauna.

Nothing makes our enemy despise us more than to see our resilience and yet, in truth, we have no enemies because we are all the same. We are ever changing. We are ever evolving and with love we can ever evolve our relationships with those around us.

Ignorance: the lack of information is the root of all our differences. Knowledge: is power. Inner knowing, inner recognising and inner truth bring us closer together and make us see each other for who we were, who we are and who we will be. You and I are one and the same.

We come into this world the same way. We are made of the same substance. We cry the same when we are sad, we bleed the same when we are wounded and one day we all come to pass.

Our time on earth is too precious to waste on futile pursuits that drive us further apart. There is much to be learned in sharing, in proximity, in communication and in co-existence. There is a difference between arguing and debating. One leads to destruction, the other leads to construction.

We gain so much more by freely giving and freely receiving from others than by fighting or by clinging to that which we cannot or will not ever possess of free will.

If I can call you friend and if I can call another friend a friend then you can call my friend a friend too, because we all share common ground.

May 2010 bring peace, love and prosperity to you all.