Saturday, 16 December 2017

The Meeting

Good afternoon beautiful world ... For 2 days, I have been trying to write a little ditty tune to accompany a couple of videos ... However, it would seem that (what was suppose to be) a little ditty tune has turned into a personal "Virgil" epic ... As I sit here and reflect, I am having a moment where I am not sure anymore if I wrote the song or if the song wrote me. Just click on the link below and then click on play. No need to download.

Inspired by connections we create with people on a daily basis, how those people influence our lives and viceversa, (knowingly and unknowingly,) and how, sometimes, something beyond the mind stops for long enough to realise (and appreciate) the life journey we've had to take in order to be in the same place; to share the same space and time.

Every encounter will last the time it needs to. Every encounter has something to teach us. Every lesson learned leads us to becoming the new, ever evolving, human being that we are. Every encounter matters in the bigger mosaic of who we were, who we are and who we want to be. No encounter is ever a matter of chance.... but every once in a while, or maybe once in a lifetime, the encounter is so powerful, that no matter what?, where?, why?, when? and how long for?, it awakens the very core of something inside us that is beyond this one life time we find ourselves in.
It is such an inspiring encounter that it's almost like picking up an eternal soul dance in which we know the steps even though we've never danced before.

It's best to listen to the track using headphones for the full effect. Take from it what you will. Music, like any form of art, is always about how it stirs personal emotions and is, therefore, open to personal interpretation ... Personally, I am grateful to the Universe for this encounter, (a muse,) that has the appearance of Spring in the midst of a cold, harsh, winter.

Please do let me know how it makes you feel. I would be very interested in comments and feedback. Thank you.

My love to all of you out there in the world and may your encounters be one of love, kindness, compassion and sharing. Love each other ... life really is too short

Friday, 15 December 2017

What we want and what we need

Amazing skies last night ... and a random reflection for the day. Two years ago this month, I found myself in Thailand - the only Western woman in Wat Maheyong in Ayutthaya, Thailand; visiting one of my two teachers: Sri Devamitta Holland (Papa Bhante) ... I'd gone to Thailand to try and find what I thought "I wanted" but I came away to discover that, in actual fact, I received what "I needed"... what I needed to be here, present, in this space and time.

Very often in life, a lot of the frustration and unhappiness we feel, is due to our persistence in fighting off what we need; thinking that what we want is the only path. We can end up feeling like we're constantly banging our head against a brick wall because we can't seem to (or aren't willing to) relinquish control to the Universal Source of all being. 

When what we want clashes with what we need, we claim we have no power of manifestation as everything in our life seems to go wrong... but nothing is going wrong. Everything always unfolds as it is meant to in its own time.

However, when what we want aligns with what we need, manifestation is so quick that we barely have time to catch our breath.

We can't control everything in our lives. Sometimes, we just have to let go and trust ...How can we do that? By taking a moment to gaze up at a magnificent sky ... breathe in ... and let your mind empty ... simply "be" in the moment of here and now because, take it from someone who had a death experience, there is nothing more than now. Love each other peeps

Wednesday, 13 December 2017


When I've made a bride up and seen their eyes swell with the beauty they see in the mirror, I always tell them that it's not the makeup or the hair style that makes them beautiful ... They are already beautiful, I just add a little colour to the, already existing, canvass.

The media would have us believe that beauty depends on how we look, where we live, how we live and how much money we earn ... but that's not beauty ... It's, merely, a false illusion created to keep us in a permanent sense of feeling like something (or a lot) is lacking in our lives. The objective is to make us stay in a system designed to economically enslave us. The weaker and more insecure we feel, the less empowered we are to simply "be" and be happy with what we have, who we are and how we look.

This year, I found it incredibly heart breaking to hear a lovely young bride, in her 30s, say to me that, before me, nobody had ever told her she was beautiful.

For me, beauty comes from all the pain, all the trials and tribulations we've had to overcome in life. Beauty comes from shining a light in the world because you know what it means to suffer and you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. Beauty comes from all the scars, all the healed wounds and all the darkness that, as a person, you have had to face, transform and illuminate with your own light. Every wrinkle is beautiful because it's the road map of your incredible life of learning and every struggle you've overcome. Beauty comes from sharing who you are, with others, in a kind and compassionate way with gentleness and grace.

If I've learned one thing in life ... it's that, the people who have suffered the most are the ones who have tremendous amounts of beauty... and that beauty is so real and so incredible, it's like seeing and knowing an Angel... a protector ... a guardian ... Love yourselves beautiful people. You are lacking nothing and you ... yes you reading this, you can honestly move mountains with your beauty.

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

Conflicts help us learn and grow.

It's not the people we have difficulties with, in life, that need to change; it's our attitude towards them, and the situation, that needs to change... because nobody can change anybody. We all change when we want to, when we're ready to and when we have the strength and courage to do so. Or, when something prompts us to do so - in any area of our lives.

No matter how hard we try and maintain peace in our lives, while we interact with others, there will always be a time of some kind of conflict with someone. It's inevitable. Conflicts are how we learn and grow. Sometimes, conflicts arise because of karmic situations, other people interfering, false rumours and other types of negative energy, which is completely beyond our control... and we can't control the uncontrollable. Everything happens for a reason and that is what we need to accept and analyse.

All we can do, for our own balance and inner peace, is to hold steady on our ground and, instead of adding fuel to the fire; remain still, in silent observation with a great deal of patience and compassion. The storm always passes but our attitude, during it, will make a huge difference between whether everything good will be razed to the ground or if the sun will once again shine and give new light for rebirth.

More often than not, in difficult times, we walk away because it's easier than staying and fighting for what, we know, is just and truthful. We allow pride to get the better of us ... More often than non, we don't give up on people, and situations, because we don't care, we give up because we run out of patience and lose touch with our compassionate side. Love each other peeps. Life really is two minutes and we don't take anything when we check out. So, don't let pride or a lack of patience make you give up. One global love

Thursday, 7 December 2017

Judge me as you will but the truth needs to come out!

For those who you who know me, you will know that I am a migraine sufferer. I have been one, practically, all my life. 
Again, most of you who have known for many years will, also, know that I fell 200 meters off a mountain; while out trekking. I had a near death experience; just to give you an idea of how serious the fall was. During that fall, I must have hit my head several times. As I was too busy floating in this beautiful white, warm, light; feeling peace beyond anything I ever experienced in my entire life, I have no idea how the body fell or what impacts it suffered. I only know that when I came back to the world of the living, I was broken from head to toe with obvious, visible signs like bleeding, lack of mobility etc and many not so obvious, internal, injuries. 
From then on, my migraines have progressively got worse. They have been more aggressive, last for longer periods of time, caused abnormal visual impairment and the loss a second or two, or three, here and there at sporadic intervals. 
After several tests, in 2009, I was diagnosed with a condition known as IIH; idiopathic intracranial hypertension. Idiopathic just means no known cause. The medical world refer to it as a benign brain tumour - begning tumour celebri to be precise. 
Apparently, the condition I have is considerably comparable to Hydrocephalus in so much that I have too much cerebral spinal fluid circulating around my brain. The Villi, or little, water, filter channels, have difficulty draining the fluid at the rate my body is producing it and sending it up to “supposedly” cushion the brain. 
If, and when, I am lucky enough to prevent a migraine from fully developing, I am able to maintain reasonable pressure levels in my cranium, which in a normal migraine sufferer can reach a maximum of between 23 and 27 mmHg (millimeters of mercury - the measure used for intracranial hypertension.) Curiously, it is between 7 - 15 mmHg for a normal (non suffering) person - at rest and laying down. 
When I am not lucky (or quick enough) to prevent a full blown attack, the pressure in my cranium has been known to reach over 40 mmHg, which is a very debilitating in many ways. If the pressure continued to increase, it could be potentially life threatening over a prolonged period of time because, eventually the blood flow to the brain would stop. 
It’s actually very ironic that the brain risks drowning in the very fluid the body produces to protect it.
My, personal, experience has, also, been loss of snippets of memory. I am an ND, doctor of natural medicine, not a conventional doctor, so I cannot scientifically prove the correlation between intracranial hypertension and memory loss but, it makes perfect sense that if a boat is continuously attacks by ravaging waves in a port, the paint will eventually fall off. As it is, we all lose about 200,000 brain cells on a normal day ... so, how many do we or can we lose with a severe migraine attack? ... and how many more with IIH?
The only bandaids, (I call them bandaids because they offer no solution what so ever to the 1 in 300,000 sufferers out there,) conventional medicine offer are:
  1. A shunt, which is a tube that goes from the brain to the stomach to drain the fluid.
  2. Lifetime (addictive) profilaxis - known as preventative medicine that provides no cure.
  3. Regular lumbar punctures. I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.
I refused the first, took myself off the second by going cold turkey and vowed never to have the third ever again in my life. 
I decided to take the responsibility for my health into my own hands. I studied every form of alternative healing I, possibly, could to find what worked for me and what didn’t. This is why, nowadays, I am a Naturopath and a Holistic Health Therapist (among all the other things.)
I set out on a quest to find a cure that worked for me. It may not work for everyone because sadly no two bodies are the same and never will be. 
By process of elimination, I am now in a position where I have found that, for me personally, what works is: 
Eating only freshly prepared food. No processed, minimum refined and nothing packaged. No fizzy drinks and hardly any alcohol at all.
Reducing stress levels in my life.
Avoiding conflict and conflictual situations.
Walks in nature and sitting quietly in nature.
Regular massage/osteopathy
Yes, I listed Cannabis ... Don’t judge me! I am a person just like you who wants to lead a happy, normal life without losing a day or two, here and there, because the pain is so bad, I, literally, can’t lift my head off the pillow. 
I wrote a book about Cannabis and healing as you all know. My inspiration was losing a friend to cancer but, ironically, through doing a lot of research for my book, I experimented with this amazing medicinal plant and found that it worked for me. 
Since Cannabis relaxes the body, all processes are slowed down. Blood and fluid pressure drop. It slows the production of cerebral spinal fluid, which then reduces the quantity supplied to my cranium, which in turn reduces the intracranial pressure. 
Am I junkie? Nope! I am an addict? Nope! I can take it or leave it with no side effects what so ever - except a migraine. With the prescribed drugs, I was an addict and, like I said earlier, went cold turkey when I stopped taking them - against the advice of my pharmacologist and neurologist. 
Do I smoke cannabis all day? Nope! I found that smoking 1 to 3 joints; depending on size and dosage, which are usually small; ie. the same size as a roll up cigarette, at night before sleep and preferably along with meditation, are sufficient to keep the migraine attacks in check. 
Please keep in mind, this is not medical research. This is only my own personal experience.
Do I get stoned? Nope! ... The only feelings I get are:
  1. A sense of unbelievable peace and feeling of contentment.
  2. Extreme mental clarity - It’s 2am and I am writing this after having used cannabis.
  3. A feeling of truly being in the here and now ... mindful and fully present.
Do I lose control of me or my mind? Nope! You’ve all had some dealing of some sort with me. You’ve interacted with me, you’ve worked with me and you’ve socialised with me. You are perfectly able to make your own minds up. 
As a sideliner, I should add in here that Cannabis doesn’t affect people in the same way. A lot of people might get stoned with one puff. The miracle of Cannabis lies in the dose - too much will get a person stoned, too little won’t cure. It’s a delicate balance, but then isn’t all life, and its force, about balance?
If you want to know exactly how and why Cannabis heals, please read my book “Cannabis and Healing” available from Amazon. I talk about the CBDs found naturally in our bodies and I talk about Cannabis CBDs and the binding that happens to strengthen the immune system. Ironically, I don’t talk about my own condition. Why?
Because of you, out there, who dare to judge me and have judged me in the past. I’ve cared far too much for far too long. My “giving a damn” stops today because today I realise I can help more people by getting the truth out there rather than worrying about what you think. Every week, more and more videos appear on youtube of people, especially young people, who’s lives are being destroyed by this condition and the bandaids available in conventional medicine. 
I have had the privilege of helping a number of people get to a point where they can manage their condition and reduce the number of attacks but, I have never until now, mentioned Cannabis.
To all of you out there who continue to think Cannabis is a drug and that users are druggies ... let me ask you this. How long have you been taking legalised drugs that your doctor will never take you off? How much of a cure does it actually offer and how much does it just mask the symptoms and how much commission do you think they get, in kickbacks, from the pharmaceutical companies? - I don’t dispute that some medication might be essential - but not all!
Also, I ask you this ... if Cannabis was just for druggies and sooooo bad ... why are pharmaceuticals trying to synthesis it? ... and ... might I add, inducing coma or killing participants, in their studies, in the process ... 
When nature is perfectly perfect, made in whatever Gaia or Universal Energy or God’s image you believe in, it is highly humanly arrogant to think that man can improve it.

Monday, 2 October 2017

Dear Soul Mate ...

If there is someone special in your life, who you'd love to share a multitude of reasons with of why you love them, this is the perfect little gift ...

For men and women alike ... say it with a book ...

Now that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming ... Let your dear heart know how you truly feel!

Friday, 27 January 2017

Dear You ...

Dear You, 
I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I know what you’re going through. The pain you’re feeling right now is the same pain I’ve felt. I’ve been where you are and I’ve felt the deepest sorrow a human being can feel. The only thing worse than losing a loved one is losing a loved one to cancer at a very tender age. 
I know how empty you feel right now and how the world makes no sense any more. I know that feeling of being dead inside as if someone ripped your heart out and left you numb. I know how it feels to be plodding along aimlessly through life without really being present. 
I lost a lifelong friend to cancer before she made it to the age of 34. She struggled for two long, hard, years with cancer before her frail body gave up the fight. I watched her decline from the vibrant human being she was to a bed ridden shell of her former self. 
All I could do was standby and watch as the disease slowly took all the life out of her. I felt helpless. I didn’t want to lose her but I didn’t know how to save her and after she departed this world to start the next phase of her journey, I felt guilt. I felt like I should have done more for her. I kept questioning whether I did everything I could have possibly done and I beat myself up over it every day for three years following her passing. 
I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept the inevitable of her condition and hindsight is a wonderful thing. There was nothing I could do for her except be there for her and love her the way I always had. I know now that I couldn’t have saved her. Unfortunately, I don’t get to decide who lives and who dies.
I know, that like me, you’re going through the mourning process and it will take time to heal. You should take all the time you need. Everyone mourns in their own way and for as long as they need to but, I want you to remember one thing. Love is all that really matters. 
Your loved one, just like mine, wouldn’t want you to suffer the pain you’re feeling. I’m sure they’d want you to live your life and make the most of every precious moment. 
It’s taken me a long time to realize that life is about cycles and death doesn’t mean the end. It’s just another cycle and within life itself, from the moment we’re born, every hello must end in goodbye. The only thing that keeps us bound, throughout all cycles, is our love for one another. Every moment we share together and every memory we create is a precious gift to be treasured and looked back upon with the same love and happiness we felt at the time of creation. 
With every encounter, our lives are enriched. We all touch each other in some way and we learn from one another. Instead of mourning our loss, we should celebrate what we have gained. We are all very fortunate to share our lives with one another in whatever capacity and we are all blessed to know love and share it with others. 
I know that, right now, this letter is probably of no real consolation to you but one day you will see the world, once again, as a beautiful place. One day, you’ll feel your loved one, once again, smiling at you from wherever they are and, once again, you’ll start living in the knowledge that only love matters.